I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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