O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Randomize