haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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