whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
