Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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