I just saw a hot homeless man
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Randomize
