My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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