I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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