I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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