it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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