So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
