His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
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