i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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