There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
