Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
