:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
He did a backflip because drugs
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