So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
