Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god

(202): View more from Washington, DC

you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary

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(202): I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god (202): you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary http://tfl.nu/3z0i

Replies (27) Good night (1562) Bad night (603)
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(925): View more from California

Should I have kids to fix a relationship??

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(925): Should I have kids to fix a relationship?? http://tfl.nu/aeth

Replies (56) Good night (736) Bad night (8833)
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(613): View more from Ontario

my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy

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(613): my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy http://tfl.nu/gete

Replies (19) Good night (1737) Bad night (3721)
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(720): View more from Colorado

Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?

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(720): Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head? http://tfl.nu/r6cb

Replies (20) Good night (8282) Bad night (2187)
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(519): View more from Ontario

Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.

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(519): Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn. http://tfl.nu/jg1z

Replies (7) Good night (1248) Bad night (2766)
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(513): View more from Ohio

He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.

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(513): He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower. http://tfl.nu/6nkf

Replies (8) Good night (5003) Bad night (940)
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(661): View more from California

The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.

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(661): The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me. http://tfl.nu/fztu

Replies (6) Good night (2287) Bad night (835)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.

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(973): Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often. http://tfl.nu/x0j2

Replies (0) Good night (1793) Bad night (802)
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(530): View more from California

She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential

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(530): She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential http://tfl.nu/2o4m

Replies (5) Good night (3420) Bad night (698)
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(348): View more from

I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say

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(348): I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say http://tfl.nu/qtqf

Replies (4) Good night (1008) Bad night (445)
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(760): View more from California

I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart

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(760): I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart http://tfl.nu/0amr

Replies (7) Good night (1097) Bad night (605)
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(914): View more from New York

It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.

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(914): It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup. http://tfl.nu/9ulw

Replies (7) Good night (599) Bad night (2146)
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(406): View more from Montana

After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.

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(406): After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women. http://tfl.nu/36ea

Replies (3) Good night (760) Bad night (476)
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(502): View more from Kentucky

So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.

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(502): So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted. http://tfl.nu/vsby

Replies (3) Good night (1112) Bad night (416)
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(303): View more from Colorado

I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.

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(303): I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle. http://tfl.nu/isj2

Replies (0) Good night (1226) Bad night (353)

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