I'm being pulled over???
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.