Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(216): View more from Ohio

I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.

(1-216): View more from Ohio

It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.

(216): View more from Ohio

He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.

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(216): I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself. (1-216): It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you. (216): He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry. http://tfl.nu/dfyj

Replies (27) Good night (599) Bad night (5129)
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(720): View more from Colorado

By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."

(815): View more from Illinois

oh god.

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(720): By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer." (815): oh god. http://tfl.nu/0mg8

Replies (25) Good night (4687) Bad night (743)
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it

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(401): My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it http://tfl.nu/ym1h

Replies (22) Good night (807) Bad night (4332)
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(706): View more from Georgia

Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic

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(706): Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic http://tfl.nu/himg

Replies (20) Good night (4935) Bad night (951)
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(413): View more from Massachusetts

He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.

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(413): He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing. http://tfl.nu/up8v

Replies (8) Good night (1249) Bad night (4255)
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(917): View more from New York City

I just found a bag of teeth...

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(917): I just found a bag of teeth... http://tfl.nu/rg4d

Replies (18) Good night (1305) Bad night (4670)
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(503): View more from Oregon

Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.

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(503): Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before. http://tfl.nu/hb5j

Replies (13) Good night (1822) Bad night (3282)
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(626): View more from California

You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin

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(626): You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin http://tfl.nu/mf5k

Replies (6) Good night (2328) Bad night (1020)
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(417): View more from Missouri

In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.

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(417): In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D. http://tfl.nu/wwrb

Replies (9) Good night (2691) Bad night (834)
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(407): View more from Florida

Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.

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(407): Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless. http://tfl.nu/zvko

Replies (5) Good night (1445) Bad night (738)
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(757): View more from Virginia

SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?

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(757): SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get? http://tfl.nu/a9m1

Replies (12) Good night (1139) Bad night (1158)
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(415): View more from California

Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you

(831): View more from California

He's CUTE. and foreign

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(415): Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you (831): He's CUTE. and foreign http://tfl.nu/untm

Replies (2) Good night (1049) Bad night (366)
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(770): View more from Georgia

Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes

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(770): Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes http://tfl.nu/v27r

Replies (13) Good night (1307) Bad night (495)
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(217): View more from Illinois

I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.

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(217): I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine. http://tfl.nu/bpq4

Replies (1) Good night (1212) Bad night (328)
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(204): View more from Manitoba

You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you

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(204): You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you http://tfl.nu/fqb1

Replies (0) Good night (360) Bad night (138)

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