So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
