Sponge bath it is.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
