Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
