I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
