yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
