come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
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