i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
The struggles of a small town man whore
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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