I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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