you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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