Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
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