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i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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