At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
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