but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
