i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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