We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
