Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
