i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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