I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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