We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
