Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize