So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
The ass gains better be worth it
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