Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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