Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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