I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I love having hate sex.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
