so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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