mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
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