but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
