I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
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