Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
