It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
