she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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