Whod you bang
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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