Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
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I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
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