we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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