I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
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