i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
