Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
