If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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