hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
